Where does your self-confidence come from?

What is SELF-CONFIDENCE It is a belief in one’s ability to succeed in a specific situation or in accomplishing a task.  Confidence determines the actions we take towards the thing we want in our lives. Our dreams plus confidence equal creating the life we meant to live, but where does it come from? And another question

It is a belief in one’s ability to succeed in a specific situation or in accomplishing a task.  Confidence determines the actions we take towards the thing we want in our lives. Our dreams plus confidence equal creating the life we meant to live, but where does it come from? And another question

HOW TALL ARE YOU?

I am 183 cm (6.0 ft) tall. You can imagine the teasing I received when I was a kid in elementary school in Central Asia where an average man is 168.4 cm (5 ft 1⁄2 in) tall and a woman is 157.7 cm (5 ft 2 in). I felt really awkward with my long limbs, I was very shy, self-conscious and wanted to make myself as small as possible.

A school girl in a school uniform

I didn’t want to intimidate my tiny classmates with my height,  and I  hated every moment they stared at me when I had to rise from to go the blackboard, or at a class event when participants had to stand up to introduce themselves.

I wanted to be small… until one day a sports scout has invited me to join a junior basketball team. On the next day at my first basketball training, I was among “my people” –  everyone was as tall as I was! After I joined the club and started playing with the team I gradually began to feel more comfortable with myself and carried myself with ease. That was a big change!

Basketball hoop

TODAY I GET COMMENTS – some people say that they wish they were as tall as I am. They say that they would be more successful if they had the “executive presence” that comes, in their opinion, with the height. Such comments made me realize that how we feel in our own skin has nothing to do with our physical features. We can be big or small, but it is something else that makes us feel content and self-confident.

I used to think that feeling of confidence comes from the impressions I got from outside, from other people’s reactions to me, from the skills I’ve mastered and the results I’ve got in my life. I thought that only when everything is perfect, then I can be self-confident.

Graffiti Art

Later, when I played on the Kyrgyz National Junior Basketball Team I was privileged to work with great coaches who helped me to understand the importance of working hard and believing that I could accomplish more than I ever thought possible.

In addition to exhausting work-outs leading up to every competition, the coaches provided us with the mental tools so that we could manage our own performance and create our optimal level of mental readiness necessary to win. Thus how I discovered that feeling confident is a skill, and as any other skill, it can be learned. As learning to play an instrument or a sport requires time, patience and repetitions –  getting skilled of being confident is also about patience and desire to steadily mastering it.  

Self-confidence is a belief in one’s ability to succeed in specific situations or accomplish a task. Confidence determines the actions we take towards the thing we want in our lives. Our dreams plus confidence equal creating the life we meant to live.

How can we create such a belief?

As everything else believes are created in our brain. Whatever thought you think on a consistent basis makes the brain fire certain neuronal connections and the more these connections get used the stronger they become. We are essentially building new neural paths into our brain and any mental processes which are used regularly will strengthen. So we can build and then strengthen whichever mental tendencies we focus on.

a nerve

SUPPORTING YOURSELF BY THINKING encouraging thoughts will enhance motivation, persistence, and performance that will ultimately bring the results you want to see in your life. Tell yourself: this is the place I want to be right now. I trust myself, I know I can. I know what I do matters. I am focused on what I do. I am capable to achieve my goals. I am well prepared.

“Effective confidence comes from within, it’s not the result of external events…. You succeed because you’ve chosen to be confident. It’s not really useful to require yourself to be successful before you’re able to become confident.”

Seth Godin

So when you create confidence – you create momentum, you create movement and take action in your life, which ultimately bring the result you want.

It is worth taking the time to learn this skill.

3 Replies to “Where does your self-confidence come from?”

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